I can't imagine.......

 

 I can't imagine.........something I have heard many times since Kendra died.  I know I too thought this when I heard of someone losing their child.  And it is so true, you can't imagine.  I could not have imagined getting through the following minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and then years.  I could not have imagined the brutal feelings of loss.  I could never have imagined that a broken heart is a physical ache and that it will never fully heal this side of Heaven. I could not have imagined that the grief never leaves, it becomes intertwined into our very souls and it is a little gentler over time, but it is a constant state of awareness that Kendra is no longer with us here on earth.  I could not imagine that not a day would go by that I would not think of her.  

We got to have Gianna with us this summer and seeing her and Ethan together would bring joy to my heart. I was listening to them talking in the pool one day and they were asking each other if they remembered going to the zoo, their dog, Kingston and other memories.  I watched them and thought I can't imagine what they went through, what goes through their minds,  losing their mom at such young ages.  I told them how blessed they are to get to have two mommas.  

I too feel blessed that this life is not the end, we are just passing through and some sweet day, we will all be reunited with our loved ones!  As I try and and picture in my mind, running to Kendra, seeing and hugging my mom and grandparents, being with Jesus...........I can't imagine.  If you have been through the unimaginable, I would love to pray for you.