Bucket List #3 📚📓 OBTAIN A PHD IN LITERATURE

Third on her list was getting a PHD in literature.  She loved to read and read everything she could get her hands on.  She was so excited when the first Kindle came out! She wrote a series of books when she was around 11 or 12 and she called them "The Jamie series".  They were about a girl named Jamie and she had all kinds of adventures with a valuable learning lesson at the end.  They were really good for a young girl and I still have a lot of them.  She really wanted to teach literature because she thought nothing would be more exciting than being around books for a living.

I am sure at the age of 12 she did not foresee her future as it played out in real life.  Not really sure how it all happened but the last couple years of her life, she was struggling with and hiding a drug addiction from her family and friends.  It all came crashing down around her the night of her younger sister, Stephani's wedding.  She ended up overdosing and getting rushed to the hospital.  But she was actually very relieved her secret was out and was overjoyed to find out that we all still loved her and were here to help her.   She did go to an awesome Christian rehab, Turning Point where she was helped mentally, physically and most important, spiritually.

This is a hard story to tell and she wanted to tell it because she wanted to help other people struggling with abuse and addiction.  So as her mother, I am telling it.   I urge anyone struggling with depression, abuse or addiction to please seek help.  Do not let fear, shame, embarrassment or fear of rejection be the reasons you don't tell or ask for help.   We would have loved our daughter and missed her just as much if she had died a drug addict, but we are so happy she got the help she needed.  I really feel she should have died that night, she had a lethal cocktail, but God spared her to get her life in order.

We only got a couple of days with her before she was killed in a car accident, but we don't regret a single day she spent getting well.  She touched a lot of lives while in rehab.  She got her sense of humor back and brought a lot of joy into a not so joyful place.  She was everyone's cheerleader.  We still hear from them and they all tell us she was one of a kind.  But when she died, she was so happy and so proud of herself and clean.   She wanted to do so much for others and most importantly, her children.  She just never got the chance, so I hope by telling her story, she can still help others!

So if anyone is reading this and they are struggling or know of someone, it's not too late, reach out and change your life or someone else's!  We all need to go back and remember what our hopes and dreams were when we were 12, when we still had our whole life ahead of us.  It's all still there inside us, we just need to find it again.  And even if you feel like there's no one to turn to:  our loving Heavenly Father is always there with wide open, loving arms just waiting for us to ask him for help.  Guaranteed, he will be there!

                                                                  Kendra at age 12