Baggage

I was going through my closet and I found a bag that Kendra had brought back to me from her mission trip to Nicaragua.  In fact, it is the only thing she brought back with her besides her suitcase. She chose to do a mission trip for her senor trip instead of a trip with friends. She went with a group called The Rainbow Network. This group collects shoes and holds shoe drives at various churches year round and they teach these people to micro farm and run small business's so that they can learn to support themselves and not just rely on church groups, donations, etc.

We had a woman in our church at that time that would run the shoe collections and Kendra became very interested in the group and inquired about going on the next mission trip.  So we got her passport, shots and filled out all the paperwork. Kendra was so excited as this was something she always talked about doing and had wanted to do for sometime. 

She took pencils, candy and small toys with her along with her collection of teen magazines and went that summer of 2006 right after she graduated high school. She loved it there and she loved the people there.  She would talk about the kids and how loving they were.  She laughed telling us how she gave a group of teen girls all of her teen magazines and they were so inquisitive about life in the US and if she knew Britney Spears!  She almost cried telling about how one woman invited their group into her "home",  a shack compiled of boards, cardboard and sheets of cloth.  The woman proudly showed them her home and offered one plastic chair to sit on.  She told us how embarrassed she was thinking of all the stuff in her room and in our house, things she had taken for granted.

She picked a little girl to sponsor and she did this for a couple of years, writing to her and sending money.  She felt blessed to be able to do this for the little girl and her family.  Before leaving, she gave away all of her possessions that she had taken with her on the trip, all of her clothes, shoes, make-up, etc.  She came home only with her one suitcase with that bag in it for me and a tee shirt for her sister.  I felt very proud of her for doing this and I loved that she put others before her.

Kendra always had a heart for missions, she absolutely gave of herself 100 percent on these trips and she loved telling others about Jesus.  This was the Kendra that had come back to us for those two short days before her death, the Kendra who wanted again to tell of Jesus and his love, forgiveness and overabundance of grace.  The Kendra who wanted to travel and go on mission trips and I saw the sparkle in her eyes again as she told me excitedly that she could not wait to go again. 

Finding that bag reminded me of all the baggage we carry unnecessarily, both physically and mentally.  When Kendra came home from Nicaragua with no baggage, that was the happiest that I had seen her in a long time. Isn't that the way with Jesus, when we turn over all of our baggage to him, we feel free, we feel so light letting go all of our burdens.  Kendra, this is one of my favorite memories of you, coming home, excited about your adventures and seeing your renewed spirit for God.  Trying to let go of my baggage of grief, sadness and longing in my heart for a daughter that I will not see until I leave this earth.  And God knows exactly how hard that is.  Missing you so much K Girl.