Easter Reflections

As Easter approaches, I have been thinking back to another Easter, a very special one.  Danielle and Kendra had both accepted Christ as their Savior and they were baptized together on a Easter Sunday in 1996. What a joy it was to witness our girls following Christ in baptism. They were so excited and it made that Easter a very special and memorable day. 

In my saddest moments, I do rejoice that she made that decision a long time ago and that before she died she renewed her faith again.  That I know that she is celebrating this Lenten season with her Savior who died on the cross for her and for all of us is a great comfort to me.  I can not fathom in a million years that I would be able to willingly and lovingly sacrifice my child to save others.  But God did.  And knowing how painful the loss of a child is, I can only imagine how God felt sending his son to die and not just to die, but to be painfully and horribly tortured and crucified on a cross.  That's unfathomable love. That's what I reflect on this Easter as I miss my daughter more than words could express. I have heard many, many descriptions of grief and most of them are true but the one thing I have noticed more than anything is when I realize that she will not be here for the rest of my life on earth, it takes my breath away and its really hard to start breathing again.  It hurts deep in my very soul and there is a longing to see her and hold her that never goes away.  I think in time that will ease up and she won't be on my mind every minute of the day.  But then again, maybe not.  

So I am celebrating Easter for the very reason it was intended.  To honor God and and to be so thankful that he sent his son to die for our sins. I have an even deeper appreciation now for what he did.  Before losing a child, it just did not hit me as hard and I did not realize the pain God had to have suffered, giving up his only child.  So thankful he did and then on that glorious morning, Jesus rose from the grave and gave us all that wonderful hope of eternal life. So Kendra I am envious of you up there in Heaven because I can not imagine the joyful celebrating that will be going on this Easter Sunday.  Loving and missing you until the end of time.  Praying everyone has a blessed Easter.