Bucket List #91 Learn not to take everything for granted!

12 year old Kendra with her sisters

How did my 12 year old Kendra get so smart?  That she already knew at the tender, young age of 12 not to take everything for granted.  A lesson we all could do well to learn.  I have learned so much from her, finding and reading this bucket list.  I knew she was funny, smart, caring and really crazy at times.  But I just love seeing life through her 12 year old eyes and all that she really thought about, her dreams, her wishes and her love for others and her faith.  I am sure that when she wrote this, she never dreamed her life would be shortened and that we would find this bucket list after her death.  But what a blessing it has been and it brings me and her sisters closer to her as we try and fulfill her wishes and also as we see how loving and caring she was.  She would probably be a little embarrassed that we found it and her journals.  I am sure her journals were just for her and they will always remain private, but it just gives us a little more of her.

I did take for granted that my family would always be here, that nothing would happen to any of them.  I can't explain how soul shattering, overwhelming and awful it is lose a child.  It consumes you, even as you move through your daily life and go back to work and look like you have picked up all the pieces and you are moving on...............the loss is ALWAYS there.  First thing in the morning, all during the day and when you go to bed at night.  If not for my family, friends and most importantly my faith, I do not know how I would get through this.

I do not take anything for granted now.  I am thankful and feel blessed for every day. For every day that I get to talk to my daughters and my grandkids.  I'm so thankful for my husband who is my rock. I am so grateful for family, friends and church family.  I don't take my health or my family's health for granted.  One thing I have learned from Kendra's death is I don't sweat the small stuff.  Things that would have bothered me in the past are nothing now.  Losing a child puts so much in perspective.

Thank you Kendra for leaving us a beautiful gift, an insight into your thoughts and feelings and making us more aware of how we should live.  We should all have bucket lists, goals and ideals to improve our lives.  We should all live our life as if today could be our last day because we should never take that for granted.  My 12 year old daughter is my hero.