Grief Waves

 

You would think that after 7 years have passed since Kendra died, that the grief would be a thing of the past.  WRONG!!  My heart still hurts just as badly since that Saturday in December when we were told that she did not make it.  That she was not flown to Kansas City, that she had died on the side of the road and being thrown out of the car.  My heart still has a scar that will never fully heal this side of Heaven. My heart still longs to see her and hug her, to hold her and just have her here with us.  I still have days when I cry often and grieve for her so badly.  

Grief is truly a life long journey.  The grief journey has many ups and downs, highs and lows and days of such sadness and days of being at peace.  Along the way, there are days that are such hard reminders of the loss and other days of complete joy in remembering her and laughing at all the memories we cherish.  There can not be a timeline to grieve, because she was our child and her absence is still so noticeable in our family.  

Sunday, May 14th was Mother's Day and it was also Kendra's birthday.  She should have been celebrating her 36th birthday, but she is forever 28.  On those days, it's hard to keep my grief at bay.  On those days, I just want to have a good cry and think about her.  On those days, the grief waves are strong and I don't even try to fight them.  But even in the midst of the sorrow and grief, I still believe that God is good and that He has her safe in His arms.   I also know that God is walking this journey with me and He knows my hurting heart and my deep sorrow.  So yes, there are grief waves still............7 years later, but there is also lots of joy and happiness in between those waves. My heart is with you all on this journey, we are not alone.