Another Mother's Day Without You

Mother's Day is fast approaching and since losing my mom 24 years ago, I have always had a bit of dread and sadness in my heart regarding the day.  But having three daughters who always celebrated me being a mother myself made the day a lot brighter.  Kendra was born just a couple of days after Mother's Day 32 years ago and was a welcome addition to our little family. I would never have imagined that she was only to be ours for 28 years, not a lifetime.  Until losing Kendra, I think I just took things for granted, that horrible things only happened to other people.

Now, my heart hurts on Mother's Day because I am still missing my mom and now I am missing my daughter and I also know her birthday is around the same time, even falling on the same day occasionally. It has come to be one of those days that I am glad when it is over, as mean as that seems. Yes, I am honored and still love being a mom, and my girls mean the world to me, but on a day where you see everyone's posts about their moms and the posts from the kids to their moms, it just hurts my heart.

I know God sees all the mommas whose children are no longer living and He sees the sons and daughters who no longer have their moms and He grieves with us and He knows our hearts are heavy.  He knows it is human nature to grieve and to be sad, but He also wants us to draw near to Him, to give Him our burdens, to know that we are not alone.  It still hurts.

So as I am going to get through another Mother's Day without you Kendra. I am going to try and remember the fun times, the happy times, the joys of being your mom, the memories that I hold in my heart and remind myself that I was really lucky after all, you were mine for 28 years that God blessed us with.  That sometimes, we only get moments with our child, or months, a few years or not even get to see our child take a breath and I will never take that for granted ever again.  God bless all the mommas that are struggling to get though another Mother's Day without their child and may they feel God's peace and comfort. May they remember what a privilege it was to be that child's momma for however long they were allowed to be on this earth.  Missing you terribly, K Girl.  Happy Mother's Day to you in Heaven.