Saturday, April 29, 2017

The Best was yet to Come



I have said before how grateful we were that when Kendra left us, she believed her best was yet to come. Not many of us get that chance, to leave this earth feeling our life is great again and only good things will be coming our way.  When I'm feeling low and missing her, this is what I think about, that she was happy.

God spared her the night of her sister's wedding.  She should have died from a drug overdose.  The nurse at the hospital asked her later if she knew how lucky she was, they were getting to intubate her upon her arrival at the hospital.  It wasn't luck, it was God.  He gave her time to get her life together again.  She welcomed her second chance.  She wanted to turn her life back around again, for her children, family, friends, but most of all, herself.  She lost herself for a while, but she was finding herself again and discovering self love.

She did the work and was getting ready to return to life and motherhood again, embracing the challenges of working her program and staying clean and sober.  She didn't fool herself that it was going to be easy, she knew she couldn't become complacent in her sobriety.  She was only home two days but she attended her NA meeting her first night home and visited with her sponsor.   She eagerly read her book each morning and night and was committed to making her life the best she could be.

She made an appointment with a counselor at college and was eager to finish her schooling.  She was going to see what classes she would need to become an addiction counselor.  She really wanted to use her experiences and help others.  She was not ashamed of her story, she wanted to tell it.  

So on that last morning of her life, she left here with a smile on her face and joy in her heart.  She had found her faith again and renewed her relationship with God.  She had read to me a passage out of her  book "Jesus Calling" right before she left and the last line was about trouble free living awaiting her in heaven.  That has brought more endless comfort on dark days and again I know that was God.  When I am missing her and crying for her, this is what I think about ~~~~~~ she left us that morning on top of the world.  She was happy, she was proud of herself, she was loved and loving, she was clean and sober, she forgave and was forgiven. she was a child of God and when she died, she was at peace with herself.  I try to imagine the joy on her face as she departed this earth and was welcomed home into the arms of her Savior.  She left thinking that the best was yet to come.   And she was right

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